bonding to better understanding

recently I read this incredible book which talks about the trusting bond that can be established and maintained between owner and dog. The book talks about how you need to connect with your dog not yank them to and frow. I had read about sending out energy to your dog and even sending mental praise when the dog does good but, it wasn't until I read this particular book that I connected the calm, peaceful energies with that of a deep bond with my dog.
In order to connect deeply you must understand and believe your dog wants to do as you instruct. Believing this leads you to signal better and communicate in ways which your dog understands. Afterall if the dogs intentions are good, we must see that our signals or their interpretation of those signals is confused.
This process involves a lot of watching and studying your dogs behaviors and their own signals. My dog will get frustrated when he does what he thinks I want but, the signal is too similar to another one. I experienced this one time and was like why are you doing this when I am asking for that.... then my brain clicked...oh that signal is a fist with one finger pointing up and the other signal it a fist which is open making a kind of o shape. It must be hard to see the difference outside in the sun. My answer was to change the pointed finger to a arm pointing up (which he very quickly picked up) I think sometimes we don't understand that dogs are not verbal beings and respond better to hand gestures but, we can teach our dogs many verbal words simply by making an effort to use a simple vocabulary with them. Always saying the same words for the same units will reveal tremendous learning potential. Example of these words other than everday commands like sit and stay etc. are ride,car,in, side, relax,neighbor,gate,slow,careful, eat, close, and stairs. My dog knows all these words and many more simply by my repeating them through daily life. By teaching these words he understands my directions better and is more willing to trust what I say because I try to communicate with him. it puts him at ease better and I think it helps our bond immensely.
Better bonds can be built through sitting. When you share a space you use some trusting tools. If you practice this (I would suggest when you are both relaxed,before bed) Call your dog over to an area he likes to sit and have him sit or lie down so he can lean on your legs while you sit. The exercise can be as little as 3 minutes but, help your relationship greatly. simply sit together. If your dog enjoys petting or brushing or massage you can try a little bit gently but, don't feel you must be doing anything other than sharing space. Use this time to try to read and understand your dog not reading the paper or watching tv. Tune out the world and tune in your dog. at first you may sit a few feet apart and gradually over days or weeks get closer together. Don't push, we tend to push as a rule and why? We have plenty of time to work on this with our dog and the slower we go the more ease it puts them at.
Another thing I do to exercise my bond sounds silly and simple. When my dog goes to bed each night. I tell him I love him and he was such a good boy today he made me very proud. I try to state an example of his good behavior. This is visualizing good qualities of my dog to myself and helps me believe in my dog. I also wait for his relaxing/release sigh before I turn in. All dogs will do this when they give in and relax ready for sleep. You know it when you hear it. It is a deep breath and long exhale. I tell him he is good boy when he does the relax sigh, then I can turn out my light. This sigh is also the "Igive up" sigh which is when they are annoyed, the tv is too loud and they want to sleep or the assigned task is boring them, they finally give up and accept what is around them. It is up to us when they do this to be sure they are indeed comfortable. It is the job of the leader to watch out for the charges.
I find that making a concentrated effort to connect or try to understand my dog is beneficial and helps you understand yourself more allowing you to work on your own challenges. To have a friend who relies on you so much and doesn't speak the same language can show you yourself in ways you never saw. It is so interesting to see what is really there, what we are made of. When we do it helps our dogs trust and want to please us. Patience is essential. As it seems to be in a large part of life.